2015-09-13 12.22.06

Brian amazes me.

I don’t know how a two year old is able to adapt so well to all that life is throwing at him.  Yet, he does, because he is resilient and he doesn’t know life to be any other way.

These past few days, Brian has been placed in situations that would be trying for any normal two-year old to be on his/her best behavior.  After all, not many small children have the ability to grasp the beauty and historical information found around Philadelphia’s Center City.

After removing him from a tour at Independence Hall (they ask for quiet…he was not complying), my friend remarked that many of these issues possibly could be solved if Brian was able to have “snacks.”  It is scary how true this statement is.

2015-09-14 14.03.23

Elecare…Safe to eat and as a toy in the sand.

So much of our lives seems to revolve around food…when do we eat…what will we eat…can we have dessert?

Sometimes it makes me sad to think of all the food Brian has yet to try and may not be able to.

Still, she was correct.  I used to pacify Addi during many events or outings with her various snacks.  She loved Puffs and I kept those in a constant supply to have on hand when I need to be out and about, and I need Addi to be on her best behavior.

I did the same with Brian, although his snack options were very limited.  After being off of food for six weeks, I find I have to be more creative with his distractions.

When we are in a situation where it is helpful if Brian is quiet and he begins to act up, I do my best to remove him.  Letting Brian run around helps to burn his pent up energy and allows me to calm down as well.

2015-09-13 11.29.41

I am not supermom, and I would never claim to be.  I am doing the best I can and I have the ability to acknowledge my shortcomings.  One of my biggest downfalls is caring too much about what those around us think when Brian begins to act up or is too loud in a restaurant.  I was the same way with Addi.  I know I shouldn’t care and maybe some of those around me don’t care, but I have tried my hardest to not be one of those parents who sits idly by while his/her child screams and carries on.  My mom taught me that when we were kids, if we acted up in a store, we would leave.  There have been times I have put items back and left a store because Brian was screaming.

These situations could have been different if I was able to provide a snack.  Instead, if I cannot remove him, I try to distract him.  I will offer him some of my water (he loves drinking from an adult glass…and spilling the water down his front), give him my phone and Disney Jr. app, pull Hot Wheels from my purse (I keep a supply of cars for these occasions on me at all times) or a coloring book, or I find a distraction around us.  The container of sugar packets works great and teaches him how to sort and place things neatly away (educational and fun!  Win!!).  Sometimes these distractions work and sometimes they don’t.

Another issue the lack of food is causing revolves around Brian’s bottle.  I have been reassured by his dentist and pediatrician not to worry about him using a bottle still (he will not drink his formula out of anything else), but I am concerned that the bottle has become a comforting addition to his day.

2015-09-13 12.58.06    2015-09-13 13.04.20

Brian still is not drinking as many bottles as he needs to, and it may be because he tends to walk around with his bottle in his mouth (or falling asleep), but not actually drinking its contents.  Far too often I can hear him sucking in air and I have had to throw away one top because he chewed a hole in the nipple.  We were fortunate that Brian weaned himself off his pacifier quite a while ago, but now, as I wait to hear back from the doctor, I am contemplating reintroducing it just to keep him from taking in so much air when he walks around sucking, but not drinking, his bottle.

These are some of the thoughts that race through my mind on a regular basis.  I constantly try to do what is best for my little man.  I am beyond grateful for my best friend and everything she did to keep me occupied while she was here.  It was good to not stress as much as I normally do, and she kept me well fed!

2015-09-11 13.19.35

While I sit here drinking my coffee and Brian has his bottle, I realize I cannot change the importance of food in this world.  What I can do is love my son and try my best to find more important things than food in his world.

I sure am glad I have Buzz Lightyear and Thomas the Train to help me.

2015-09-13 14.17.43


2 thoughts on “Trooper

  1. You are navigating such a trying time so beautifully. It is both uplifting hearing funny stories about your silly toddler and just heartbreaking reading about his setbacks. Thank you for sharing this journey. I remember (barely) an article about just making kids happy. Period. They aren’t going off to college with a pacifier or taking their blanky to class in 5th grade. You got this mama and you know best how to make Mr. Brian happy. Keep it up!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a great post and sooo true. It’s funny that you don’t realize how much in this world is centered around food until an experience like yours or even having multiple food allergies like ours. I have had several people tell me that they don’t know what they would do if they did not have food/snacks to give to their young children to get them to behave or stop a tantrum. However, the special moms like you get creative, and always find a way. Although I know our experiences are not the same, I wanted to let you know that I can relate. It is in the challenging moments that I find comfort in reminding myself that my son TJ was given to me for a reason, allergies and all. Not everyone can fit into these shoes. It is evident that Brian is beyond lucky to have you as his mommy and his smile is proof of this. Thank you for continuing to share your story.

    Liked by 1 person

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