Auld Lang Syne

We have been home for about six weeks now, which means I am very behind in my blogging.

Being home has been an adjustment, but I will go into that in more detail in my next post.

For now, I want to reflect on 2015.

There have been years that I could not wait to see end.  When I was younger, a car accident could derail an entire year.  As an adult, the death of a loved one left me with few fond memories of the year.  Now, I can say with absolute certainty, I am ready for 2015 to end.

We have had our ups and downs the past year, but I am reminded of Bing Crosby in White Christmas telling Rosemary Clooney to “count her blessings instead of sheep.”  We have been blessed with many things this year.

Our biggest blessings come from family and friends who have supported us through a difficult year.  They offered words of encouragement, shoulders to cry on, and strength to keep going.  We made new friends and received blessings we could never have imagined from those in Philadelphia and the Fraternal Order of Police.  We were blessed with an amazing team of doctors, who have gone above and beyond for us and Brian.  Mostly, we were blessed with each other.  At the end of the day, we have had each other to lean on, and that is what matters most.

Still, this year has not been easy.

Our family spent almost six months separated.  We missed events which cannot be repeated.  We struggled alone and together.

These struggles were not just within our immediate family either.  I have begun to beg God to pay attention to someone else for a change, because I am not sure how much more I can take.  It feels like right when I get a handle on Brian’s world, something in the outside world comes crashing down on me and, whether true or not, I feel like everyone is looking to me for strength, solutions, and comfort.

Some days I don’t know how much more I can give.

I know that 2016 will bring its own challenges and hard times.  I also know that it has the potential to bring wonderful things our way.  Words cannot covey the gratitude I feel towards those who did so much for us and contributed to the bright moments in 2015.  Still, I’m also ready to see 2015 fade away.

Good or bad, happy or sad, I have to remember the words of Bing and I try to go to sleep each night counting my blessings.

I am blessed to have two beautiful children.  I am blessed to have a husband who sacrifices so much and would do anything for me.  I am blessed to have family and friends (new and old) who love me just the way I am.  We are blessed that Brian is a happy child despite everything he has been through.  I am blessed to have learned more about myself and many other things this year.

2015, thank you for the lessons and the blessings.

As for 2016, bring it on.