Less than an hour from now Brian and I will board a plane again to head home. I wanted to come up with a silly alternative to the home again, home again nursery rhyme, but my brain refuses to focus right now.
Even though we are leaving with questions, it is comforting to know the doctors have some ideas. Brian and I will return to CHOP the last week of May for follow-up tests and maybe then we will have the answers we seek.
I know it sounds odd when I say I am praying for a positive test result. I do not want my child to be sick, but since that is our reality, I need to be prepared. Positive tests results mean I will know the monster I am up against. I can prepare and plan for battle. Those who know me know I need to have a plan.
Right now we are fighting a faceless enemy. We know it is there but have been unable to name it. We are not making up his symptoms…something has to be to blame.
So I will say my silent prayers over the next week for a result that has answers. Then, good or bad, I will prepare for battle, either against an enemy or the questions that linger.
No matter what, I will fight for my child.
For now, as Brian says, “I want to go home.”